A Hot Minute

EP 6: A HOT MINUTE [rec. July 29, 2022]

We close out the season under the cloud of the SCOTUS decision and well… well, everything. We dive into ways we’ve been nourishing and caring for ourselves, and LISTENER MAIL! We’ll be back in a few months with SEASON TWO, so stay tuned.

[Character limits prevent us from linking everything, sorry! We prioritize BIPOC, LGBTQIA, and living folks <3]

Only Murders in the Building (Arconia)
Hestia
Thich Nhat Hanh
MLK. quote
Ted Lasso
Jean Ritchie
Desiree Stephens
Becky Chambers Wayfarers
Shady Hollow mysteries
Ghost Days
Diane Seuss
Wendell Berry
Rebecca Tamás
Leonora Carrington
#leftistprepper
Stardew Valley
The Kids in the Hall
Freya
Baba Yaga (see our Ep. 4!)
Florence and the Machine
Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
Witches of Eastwick (Alexandria Medford)
Bewitched
Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, Baker St. Irregulars
Beverly Hills Cop (Axel Foley)
Agatha Christie's Miss Marple
Murder She Wrote (Jessica Fletcher - see our Ep. 3!)
Kiki’s Delivery Service (Kiki and Jiji)
Veronica Mars (Veronica, Wallace, and Mack)
Akata Witch (Sunny Nwazue)
Armand Gamache
Easy Rawlins
American Horror Story (Marie Laveau)
Terry Pratchett's Granny Weatherwax
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina the Teenage Witch (Sabrina, Salem)
Rowling's Harry Potter (Crookshanks and Hedwig)
Nancy Drew (Bess, George, Ned)
Harry Dresden (Bob)
Della Street
Bell, Book, and Candle
Quorn pr

Logo by Alex Zapata
Music by Prettysleepy on Pixabay
Transcript by Otter AI
Public Library Association

Transcript

transcription by Otter.ai. 100% accuracy not guaranteed. email witchesanddicks@gmail.com

EPISODE 6: A HOT MINUTE

Lucy Neptune  00:02

Okay, we are recording. 

Evelyn Archer  00:04

All right. Are we recording this podcast? 

Lucy Neptune  00:07

We are recording this podcast. 

Evelyn Archer  00:09

We are recording this podcast 

Lucy Neptune  00:10

God damn Evelyn. Hello. 

Evelyn Archer  00:14

Hello, Lucy. It's been a hot fucking minute. Like, here's what I think is really funny that... 

Lucy Neptune  00:23

But first let's just say hey everybody. 

Evelyn Archer  00:25

Hey everybody. What's up? 

Lucy Neptune  00:29

We're tired. 

Evelyn Archer  00:30

It's tired in a way that no nap can fix. I mean, we've already had the cold open. Welcome to Witches and Dicks. I'm Evelyn Archer. 

Lucy Neptune  00:39

I'm Lucy Neptune 

Evelyn Archer  00:41

And everything sucks. What's really funny to me is that we were actually supposed to record this episode last week, but doctor's appointments and shit gotten away. And so we're like, oh, we'll do it on Wednesday, no big deal. And then on Friday, June 24, 2022, the Supreme Court of the United States repealed Roe vs. Wade and everything changed.

Lucy Neptune  00:44

Mm-hmm. (affirmative)

Evelyn Archer  01:02

Everything changed. It's changed everybody's mood. It's affecting everything. It's ridiculous for us to pretend like it's not happening. But I do think that that's funny that like, the universe conspired to be like, "Ah! B'dee, wait!" You're going to have something more important on your minds. 

Lucy Neptune  01:26

Right? Well, originally, we had talked about this Episode Six, as kind of a catching... like catching up the time gap because we recorded our episodes 1-5 last summer. Last August. 

Evelyn Archer  01:41

Jesus, Lucy, is that true? Is that true?

Lucy Neptune  01:44

Yes. 

Evelyn Archer  01:45

Fuck me running, man. 

Lucy Neptune  01:47

And we had a we had a notion to... 

Evelyn Archer  01:50

That's right. 

Lucy Neptune  01:51

Open to... release the podcast to the world in October. 

Evelyn Archer  01:55

Okay. And by, "We had a notion." Okay, I really want you to take that week out of your mouth, because you had a notion.

Lucy Neptune  02:02

Okay. I. I, Lucy. Neptune really wanted to unleash the podcast on Halloween, because of Witches and Dicks. And I was like, We can do it. It'll be great. It's a fall release. It's Halloween, etc. And we weren't going to make that. But it was going to be probably sometime early to mid November. And then everything went sideways. Everything in both our lives went sideways.

Evelyn Archer  02:25

Everything in both our lives. Really like right after the holidays, I think? 

Lucy Neptune  02:31

Well, right before. So my very dear friend passed away. That was October. And that was just a terrible thing. 

Evelyn Archer  02:42

It was at a terrible time. 

Lucy Neptune  02:44

A terrible, terrible thing. And it took me a while to get any kind of, you know, momentum or just my balance again, I guess? 

Evelyn Archer  02:52

Well, and at the same time, my husband had a kind of scary surgery. Everything's fine. I mean, it's, it's fine now. But we didn't know it was going to be fine at the time. 

Lucy Neptune  03:03

Right. 

Evelyn Archer  03:03

And bless Lucy's heart. She sat with me the whole day and drove me and stuff. And it was great. So we had my husband surgery, we had your friend who passed away. And then we have the holidays. 

Lucy Neptune  03:15

Well, but over all that you knew you had to get out of your apartment. 

Evelyn Archer  03:19

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Right. 

Lucy Neptune  03:21

You had that big eviction hanging over you.  Right before holidays, right? When winter's settling in. Right, like about fuck you? 

Evelyn Archer  03:23

That's right. We had an eviction hanging over our heads because our landlord of 15 years- Rest in power-- passed away set tragically from COVID as well as his wife. Over I believe it was.... I don't remember. But it was a while before that. And then there was estate stuff. And then are they going to sell the building? Are they not going to sell the building and then they sold the building. And literally the day before my husband went into surgery, they're like... this is mid November. They're like, we want you out by the end of the year. We've been there 15 years, right? How about fuck you. It's... It's bananas. And so that was really hanging over our heads. And then the holidays happened. And that was not great. And I mean, my mom has been very ill for over a year now

Lucy Neptune  04:23

Right, and you were  planning to go down and visit her. 

Evelyn Archer  04:25

Yeah, and and I mean, all of that shit hit the fan.... Kind of everything seems so compressed. Like time is a flat circle, like what? Like that wasn't this past January that that happened? That was the January before when my mom got sick. And this January, we we did find an apartment and we're recording it right now. And she is a gorgeous. Let me tell you if we have to go from a two bedroom on the East Side to a one bed in Elmwood. Let it be this one is still too expensive for what we're getting and it's very small. But it is the dark academia fever dream of my imagination.

Lucy Neptune  05:11

 It is. So we're broadcasting live to tape from.... you say it, Evelyn. 

Evelyn Archer  05:17

From the Arconia. If you know you know. I mean we're talking two nonworking fireplaces, pocket doors, old like Victorian walnut paneling that goes halfway up the walls, gorgeous glass built ins, a full on window seat. And if you could see the outside of this building, it looks haunted as fuck. This place looks haunted as fuck. It is bananas and it really was like... Because child, let me tell you what. I was working magic to try to get this apartment. Starting in November of last year. Girl.  I was veiling myself and making offerings to Hestia. I made literally the grossest spell jar, you could imagine. In fact, Alan, I think took a screenshot of this text exchange, to share with his friends because he thought it was so funny. And it was me asking him where the cat hair the way the cat brush was. And he's like, Oh, I think it's here. What do you what do you they don't like to be brush, like, what do you need the cat brush for? And I was like, I need your comb too. I need hair for everybody in this house that needs to go live in this apartment! I got WITCH BIZ. He's like all right, and then just lists where everything is because he's a good witch husband. And sure enough through a very weird... it is both a weird coincidence of events. But it is also due to my diligence in trying to find a place like and, and it is a real testament to not being so specific about what it is you need. And what it is you want. Like I hear I think about like, when we were younger, you know, friends of mine who were looking for a boyfriend or looking for girlfriend. And there would be very specific things like they need to be this tall, but no taller, they need to wear good shoes and make this much money and like this kind of movie and like this kind of like really, really specific stuff. And I was like that was his apartment. At first I was like it needs to be this needs to be this needs to be this. And the thing is this apartment is none of that. It is none of that. I'm like it needs to be two bedrooms, at least it needs to be less than this amount of month. It needs to be walkable to that. I got none of that. But what I got instead is you know, you pray to Hestia for long enough and she sends you two fireplaces. So we're safely ensconced in this beautiful building. We're very happy about that. And then like just in time for us to... now it's what? We moved in February. So we could not really get started back on getting the podcast out until March, April, I want to say. 

Lucy Neptune  08:12

I think we'd... it didn't start... well. Yeah, that's when we started getting it back together. Yeah, that's released in May. 

Evelyn Archer  08:18

We released in May, but it wasn't until March or April that we can really start working on it again. 

Lucy Neptune  08:22

So It's been a while. 

Evelyn Archer  08:24

It's been a while, kids. It's been a while and it's been a lot for everybody even before the announcement on Friday. It's been a lot for everyone. 

Lucy Neptune  08:35

I mean, it's been it's been relentless. It's been pandemic, you know, combined with murders of black people in the street. 

Evelyn Archer  08:45

Yep. 

Lucy Neptune  08:45

Combined with climate collapse, combined with now there's a war in Ukraine combined with like, it's just been relentless in many fronts. I want to absolutely acknowledge that, as a white lady, I haven't experienced that half of it compared to many people just want to say that I know that. And I... yeah, so it's just... 

Evelyn Archer  09:05

But even... even as white ladies, we are still having an experience. 

Lucy Neptune  09:09

Oh, sure. Yeah, sure. 

Evelyn Archer  09:10

And it is it is not a great experience. And I just kind of wanted to, we really wanted to take this episode and talk about out of where we've been and acknowledge that it's been hard for us. And it's also been hard on everyone. Like, not just... when you have this backdrop of the pandemic and you have this backdrop of the war in Ukraine and climate crisis and economic crisis and late stage capitalism and balancing on a knife's edge of fascism in our government. When you have this, that alone, that's enough. Like if everything in your life is going fine, it still makes your life suck and I know so many people who are, in the backdrop of all this, experiencing personal losses that are either directly or indirectly related to what's going on. I remember when we were... that whole fall winter of 2021 2022. It felt like everything we were experiencing was like the personalization of a clickbait headline, like, major surgeries delayed due to COVID, causing problems for people. Rents skyrocket as wages stagnate. Housing crisis. And I'm like, Wow, I'm living this housing crisis. And now even that we're here, the... I'll tell you what's giving me pause. That's really making my stomach drop that has been making my stomach drop for the last couple of weeks is food prices. Oh, this is terrifying. This is absolutely terrifying. And I'm good at shopping. I'm good at living on nothing. So I'm, we're going to be okay, but not everybody's good at living on nothing. Not everybody has like, ancestral DNA that goes to, you know, coal miners in fucking West Virginia. Like, nobody knows how to get through eaten dirt than my fucking ancestors. And I remember like, I had a moment in the middle of the lockdown when we didn't have a car at the time. We couldn't get Zipcars we couldn't get Ubers getting groceries was like a situation. It was a situation and it was panic inducing. And I think my husband was panicking a little bit. And I panicked for like, a half a breath. And something took over in my DNA. And it was like all of my ancestors came up through my blood. And were like, "Bitch you got this. You know exactly what to do." I'm like, I know exactly how to live like this. Like it was very weird. But it has been a long time. Since we recorded it's but I didn't realize it had been a full year. 

Lucy Neptune  09:13

Just about just about Yeah, coming up on a year. Oh, my God. But we're we are excited, even though we're exhausted. Excited to do this episode, we decided to do this episode. Yeah, we wanted to do a check in. We want to do acknowledgement of how difficult it. Is we want to talk about self care, and ways in which we're caring for ourselves and our loved ones. And we also had some listener questions which we will get to. 

Evelyn Archer  12:30

Do you want to do the listener questions at the end? Do you want to talk about stuff? First? 

Lucy Neptune  12:34

I feel like we should. While we're on the subject of things going wrong, I think we should talk a bit about how we're taking care of ourselves, and then we'll get into the really fun questions. 

Evelyn Archer  12:42

All right. So let's talk about that. Lucy Neptune. How have you been taking care of yourself?

Lucy Neptune  12:49

Well, I made a list for myself so I can remember. 

Evelyn Archer  12:53

Fantastic.

Lucy Neptune  12:54

I'll just gonna jump right in. 

Evelyn Archer  12:55

Do it.

Lucy Neptune  12:56

In no particular order. But one of the things that has been helping me is to spend time with animals. Because animals are and that can include watching puppy videos. 

Evelyn Archer  13:06

Yes!

Lucy Neptune  13:07

Looking out the window and watching birds. Watching our collective stupid cats be doofuses. Because they don't know that anything is going wrong. They don't. Unless there's a fire in the house. You know, or maybe fireworks outside. They don't know what's happening. And so they're very calm, and they there's a groundingness that happens and it reminds me of my own animalness. And that can be calm as well. Because really my brain goes banana cuckoos upstairs, but my body can still be slower and my body can... my body is often smarter than my brain. 

Evelyn Archer  13:45

Ugh. For real.

Lucy Neptune  13:45

So time with animals has been very helpful. 

Evelyn Archer  13:48

That is a really really great one. That is really that is really smart. And now that you mentioned that I have really rooted into that as well like these... My... look at him. My sweet baby dumdums. And it's true. They don't. They don't know. Lucy cat sit for us when we went down...

Lucy Neptune  14:13

It was the best.

Evelyn Archer  14:14

...to Virginia and she was telling me how you put the big blanket on so that Watson... 

Lucy Neptune  14:19

Dr. Watson is black and white tuxedo cat weighs about what 18 pounds. 

Evelyn Archer  14:23

He weighs about 10,000 pounds. And he is like 100 feet long like... he's like a Cat Bus.

Lucy Neptune  14:31

it's He is a cat bus. And when he licks you, it's dragging like 240 grain emery board strongly across your arm. So I would sit down and I got a massive towel to put up on my lap and shoulder and he invariably got on the other shoulder and dug in his claws and purred like a lion. 

Evelyn Archer  14:51

It's terrifying.

Lucy Neptune  14:51

And yeah, what am I holding? 

Evelyn Archer  14:53

Yeah, what am I holding? And I was thinking about what you said about how they don't know what's going on. They're not like they're not upset. But the thing is, he does get upset. But he's like a drama queen about things that are meaningless to me, but very meaningful to him. Like, I need to lick you on the face and you have rejected me. Therefore, I will weep, like "Mah-WEEP" and like run through the house, go get his whale, and, and like clutch it like run around the house and this whale in his mouth when he cries, like he's having like a moment, like he's having a moment. And that's his level of drama. That is, I do agree that it helps you rooot into your own animal-ness. I think that's really great. Spending time with animals is a good one. 

Lucy Neptune  15:47

And remember your body. 

Evelyn Archer  15:49

What else? 

Lucy Neptune  15:50

I have been reading a lot about Buddhism. 

Evelyn Archer  15:54

Oh, wow. 

Lucy Neptune  15:55

And I, my friend who passed was just one of my dearest and most wonderful friends in many, many ways. And I am still gutted at her passing, she was hit by a car while cycling. And... and I've lost many friends far too young, over the years. And so I was just like, Oh, Jesus, like, am I going through this again, like in the middle of regular despair? At a whole bunch of other despair. And I don't know, I was like, what? Okay, well, who's got what for me? Because I needed something that I'm not, you know. And so I started reading some Thich Nhat Hanh. And one of the things that really kind of gave me some comfort was in the Buddhist thinking... And I'm not going to get this exactly right when I say it, but that we are all always connected to the great oneness, that our lives are like waves in the ocean, but they never leave the oceans, the wave comes and goes onto the shore. And then goes back to the ocean. But it was never a part from the ocean and a wave... Yeah. So even though I'm in this plane, and she is elsewhere, we still are connected in that way. So that gave me a measure of comfort. That was really helpful. And it's helping me to slow down and it's helping me to think about, you know, how do I want to be in the middle of calamity and revolution? Like, I am absolutely here to do things and fight, but I don't want to become a hateful person. My friend, Emily, who passed was one of the kindest people that I know. And I think the kindness is most certainly a superpower. And I've seen it change the momentum of someone's day, which then changes the momentum of other people's days, you know, and so, I'm still learning to be a Buddhist because there I can I did take Kung Fu and I will whomp your ass if you come at me. 

Evelyn Archer  17:52

Right.

Lucy Neptune  17:54

So I'm a violent Buddhist. But I want to find my calm.

Evelyn Archer  17:59

I would say that difference between being kind and being nice. Sometimes kindness hurts. 

Lucy Neptune  18:07

Right? Like, I was kind. 

Evelyn Archer  18:10

Okay, here's an example. 

Lucy Neptune  18:10

Yeah. 

Evelyn Archer  18:11

What's kind.... I think it's kind of, in a way, very generous, are these black women activists on Tik Tok that I've been learning a lot from over the weekend. And what they are doing is they are calling out white women. 

Lucy Neptune  18:29

Totally. 

Evelyn Archer  18:29

And in... I do see that as a kind of kindness. 

Lucy Neptune  18:34

Oh, yeah. 

Evelyn Archer  18:34

And a kind of generosity. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel nice. 

Lucy Neptune  18:40

Oh, yeah. Yeah. 

Evelyn Archer  18:40

It can sometimes not be received that way. Yeah. But kind is not like... love is sometimes rough. Right? 

Lucy Neptune  18:48

Well, I'm saying I'm not above violence. I think if you come at me, I'm swinging what I got on me, yeah, right at your head. 

Evelyn Archer  18:54

For real. 

Lucy Neptune  18:55

However, I don't want to live in that space. I don't wait. But MLK as that has that quote. "Don't let any man pull you so low as to hate him." Yeah. Because then you're just in the terribleness of it. And I know there are kind of purely terrible people out there. But I also think most people aren't fully terrible. I do think that. So anyways. Buddhism animals. 

Evelyn Archer  19:22

Let's see what else. 

Lucy Neptune  19:24

I've been watching Ted Lasso non stop. 

Evelyn Archer  19:26

I get it.

Lucy Neptune  19:28

Like non stop. I can't I first watched it. What a couple months ago and I've been watching it non stop. Because it is all about kindness and being generous towards another person. And connection.

Evelyn Archer  19:39

And the difference between coming into situation with curiosity and coming at it with judgment. 

Lucy Neptune  19:44

Right. And defensiveness Yeah. And it's about connecting. Yeah, I've been taking a walk and I've been trying to be good to myself and I've been really trying to give up my worrying. I've I've had... Oh, that's another thing. I COVID for three weeks. Then I had long COVID. 

Evelyn Archer  20:00

Oh, yeah. Let's not forget that our dear Lucy Neptune had a proper case of COVID. 

Lucy Neptune  20:07

Yeah.  I've been battling long COVID. 

Evelyn Archer  20:10

And has been battling long COVID. It comes and goes. 

Lucy Neptune  20:14

Luckily, I've got a great acupuncture guy. 

Evelyn Archer  20:16

Yeah. Yeah. But that was also several weeks, like, that's right. 

Lucy Neptune  20:22

And that was scary. Like, couldn't breathe. Didn't have muscles to go down the stairs. 

Evelyn Archer  20:27

I remember it was it was so it was such a distressing thing for you. Because you you had these moments where you're like, "Is this my life now? And am I going to be able to work? Am I going to be able to...?" 

Lucy Neptune  20:39

That's also why I got to the Buddhism, like if I if all I can do is sit here, what is my value?  Like I identify as a writer who can do things and figure it out and write and like, what if I don't have any brain power? I can't do those things. Who am I? What am I? And I was like, if I only just sit here? What is that? And so like, let's practice remembering who that core of you is. And what if I was just somebody's pleasant lump on the couch? Well, you know, yeah, so. Oh, but with the long COVID came like kind of burst of anxiety, and I was freaking out. And like we're worrying about everything and preparing for all kinds of things. And I was like, and I was talking to our shared therapist, true Rhode Island style. And I kind of realized, like, I I have to stop worrying because I can I can try to prepare for things. But by trying to prepare for everything, I will actually encumber myself completely. 

Evelyn Archer  20:45

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. 

Lucy Neptune  21:40

So I need to slow my breathing. And trust that I'm going to figure it out. Because I always have. Yeah, I don't know what the answers are going to be. I'm not going to get it right. But I'm going to figure it the fuck out. Whichever way it rolls. Yeah, that's my self care suite of tools. 

Evelyn Archer  21:58

Well, I have... 

Lucy Neptune  21:59

What you got, Evelyn? 

Evelyn Archer  22:00

Well, here's what I have. Of course, I have fucking reading lists. Of course. I have... if you're signed up for my newsletter, go to askevelynarcher.com, I give really good newsletter. 

Lucy Neptune  22:15

Yes, she does.

Evelyn Archer  22:15

I keep trying to get back into the regular... it's been on hiatus for a while I keep trying to do monthly and then I missed this last one because I was sick. And it was just a whole thing. But anyway, the most recent one, I talk a little bit about this. And how I don't know. "Self care" is a is a term that I am feeling... more and more distanced from. Just the term. I feel like because I feel like it's really been co opted into like a language that I see when someone's trying to sell me something. 

Lucy Neptune  22:50

Ah. Yep. 

Evelyn Archer  22:51

And what language works for me is I talk about what am I rooting into, what is nourishing me right now. 

Lucy Neptune  22:59

I like that. 

Evelyn Archer  23:00

And I think that there's some stuff pre announcement and some stuff post announcement that I'm going into but like I was saying in my newsletter, askevelynarcher.com Sign up. I give good email. I talked a little bit about kind of rooting into my ancestral food and folkways from Appalachian. There's a whole recipe for soup beans and cornbread, and talking listening to my Jean Ritchie records and stuff like that. And I was telling Lucy before the recording that this really fantastic activist on Tik Tok that I'm following Desiree Stephens, I'll put a link in the show notes. She said this thing that just took the top of my head clean off, where she was asking white women everywhere who were you before whiteness stole your ethnicity, your culture from you. And I think about you know, you could go all the way back to well, she could go all the way back to Germanic. But I also really think about the grannies in the mountains of of Appalachia, that's something that really sings to my heart. And that is a part of my heritage and ethnicity that's been kept from me for several, for several reasons. And so Well, I'll tell you, who's happy about me rooting into my ancestral food ways is my husband. Because he we are having cornbread with every meal. I've been making biscuits on Sundays. And it is the food of when there's nothing. 

Lucy Neptune  24:32

Right. 

Evelyn Archer  24:33

And when there's nothing, this is what you can make. And I'm going to talk a little bit more about that in a minute. But so there's that. And then there are a couple of things that I have been reading that I have been finding really, really helpful. Probably have talked about this before, but I can't stop talking about it. I'm never going to stop talking about the wayfarer series by Becky Chambers. These books Listen, okay, look, I know I'm late to the party on this, guys. But just get off me for a second. Okay, I lost my mind about these books. They are science fiction books, I actually don't read a lot of science fiction because I find science fiction very boring. It's all tin cans and space operas and war. And I'm so bored. And there's always a lot of laws, and it has a lot of military imagery. I'm just like, No, I'm gonna pass. If there is such a thing as cozy sci fi, Becky Chambers has written it with the Wayfarer series, I highly recommend you read them, all of them. You can... Read them in order, I think that there's something to be said for reading them in order, though they're not a successive story. They're all set in the same world with different characters. But what was really illuminating about it to me is, again, this thing that I'm obsessed with. There was no overarching plot. I'm thinking about the first book, The first book, basically, it's this tin can of a ship, called the Wayfarer. And their job is to they punch holes, they're like, they punch holes in space, they make black holes, so you can get places.

Lucy Neptune  26:03

What a fun thing.

Evelyn Archer  26:04

Basically there's a lot of ships that do this. This is not like a big cool thing. It's like... 

Lucy Neptune  26:11

It's like the road crew. 

Evelyn Archer  26:12

They're like the road crew. Essentially, they're the road crew of space, they get a big job that is very far away from where they start in the book. The book, the name of the first book is called A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet. And they have to go to the Small Angry Planet and punch these holes. And everything's gonna be taken care of, they can take basically as much time as is reasonable. They have enough money to get there. So there's no and I was like, I'm waiting for them to get there and for there to be a big war and for them to have to be the rebel army and go in and do the thing. Nope, nope. I mean, stuff happens. That's a fucking problem. Okay, but it's not their war. Like they're not fighting a war. But that being said, even though there's no big overarching conflict, oh my god, y'all so much stuff happens. Like they get boarded by pirates at a certain point. And I mean, it's so good. I highly recommend them. The other one that I've really loved. You know what people your mileage may vary. Do not judge me for this. The Shady Hollow mystery series. It's set in a place called Shady Hollow and all the characters are animals. 

Lucy Neptune  27:27

Aww. 

Evelyn Archer  27:29

Except it doesn't read like a kid's book. It's not particularly cute. It's... Irene! Don't you dare! Get out. Do not drink the ancestor water. Oh, she's... 

Lucy Neptune  27:41

She's looking out more than... 

Evelyn Archer  27:42

She's gonna she's trying to drink that ancestor water. Anyway. They're all animals. Our main detective is a journalist at the newspaper who's a fox. Her best friend is a crow named Lenore, who runs the bookstore. 

Lucy Neptune  27:56

I want to see the movie, I buy the book. 

Evelyn Archer  27:59

I want six seasons and a movie. Like I'm all about it. I love those. And also another, you know, again in my kind of Appalachian folkways situation. Fucking great book.. Anyway, I got it on Amazon. And again, I don't have any authors right now. I'm so sorry, y'all. But this was called Ghost Days. And it is a book of linked short stories set is... supernatural fiction set in like early 1900s Appalachia, about a one legged traveling conjure woman. Girl. It's so good. 

Lucy Neptune  28:36

That... I'm... I'm... yes.

Evelyn Archer  28:37

Yeah, the first story is about how she loses her leg. 

Lucy Neptune  28:41

Whoa, say the title again?

Evelyn Archer  28:43

Ghost Days. Yeah, I have it on my Kindle and it's flippin fantastic. And also, I've been kind of rooting hard down into poetry over the last few months, which is unusual for me, I have a couple of friends who are poets. Shout out to my friend Rosalynde who is a bad influence on me because now not only am I reading a bunch of poetry, I'm thinking about writing poetry and trying to write poetry and I have an idea for, I don't know, a grouping of poems, in my mind 

Lucy Neptune  29:13

Sounds wonderful. 

Evelyn Archer  29:14

That I am in my mind calling.... Do you know what a commonplace book is? Do they have those up here? 

Lucy Neptune  29:19

I've heard the phrase.  Yes, you did. 

Evelyn Archer  29:21

Alright, so you know that big black sketchbook that I have a bookshelf that's my commonplace book. And everybody I grew up with had a commonplace book, and it's recipes, home remedies, stuff like that. And I have an idea called the Book of commonplace a Grimoire for the end of the world. I want to buy that so please write so I'm working on it but the poet's that I have been really enjoying a Diane Seuss. S-E-U-S-S. I'm reading a really tremendously weird and wonderful and very spiky and violent book of poems called Witch by Rebecca Tamas and all of the poems in Witch are either "Witch Goes" or "Witch Does" or "Spell For". Like "spell for reality",  "spell for violence." "Witch Mars" "Witch Government"  and they are fantastic. And also Wendell Berry, weirdly enough, that came across through the Appalachian stuff. He's from Kentucky. Not as much as the Diane Seuss and the Rebecca Tomas. Also stories of Leonora Carrington, because they need something very, very weird. I could do a whole... she deserves her whole episode of Witches and Dicks, to be honest with you. And I think that not unrelated to the ancestor stuff, not unrelated to rooting down into that kind of stuff. I started garden as you know, in the spring because here at the Arconia, we have a beautiful side yard. And I inherited a 4x3 raised bed from from an old tenant. Oh, and here he is right here. Hi, baby. Ladies. Did you find cornmeal? That was my husband coming home. And I that is you know, I started a little tiny garden back in the spring. Just some stuff that came out of my pantry just to see if it would grow. Well. I think everybody had a little bit of a different reaction to the stuff that happened over the weekend with the Roe v Wade. And weirdly, my response was to go to Job Lot and stress buy gardening stuff. So I have another four by three garden bed that is going to go in. I have a second.. a third 4x3 garden bed that I am gifting to another person in the building. Because she wants one. I spent... well it would have been $21 but I had a 50% off coupon so...  It was $11 for the fucking beans, lima beans, squash. Here's what is happening for me with all of this and maybe you might think I'm paranoid. Oh wait, he's too fat. I'm sorry, baby. There you go. 

Lucy Neptune  32:00

But here comes Irene. 

Evelyn Archer  32:24

That's fine. Okay, so I know that this might seem... here's my feeling. And this is something that I'm feeling like in my bones. When we got the announcement, am I angry? Yes. Am I grieving? 100% But I also got real fucking quiet. And I'm like, Okay, it's coming right for us. We need to be able to look after ourselves when the shit really goes down. And I know I sound like a crazy prepper...

Lucy Neptune  33:00

No, you don't.

Evelyn Archer  33:00

But now that turns out I advise everyone to go down the leftist prepper Tiktok hole because this is fantastic. And this is what we're going to need. We need to reach out to each other in real life. We need to... and seeing making something grow in the midst of such destruction is very powerful. And I mean don't come for me. Don't send me an email, okay about how "you know personal gardens are not the answer to food insecurity." Fuck you. I know that okay, but if I can... we also live in a world here in Rhode Island where a pound of green beans cost twice as much as pork chops make that make sense? And if I can have access to fresh vegetables in a way that's cheaper for me because I'm not spending money on like crazy fertilizers and shit like that I'm putting it in the ground and putting water on it and hoping it grows. And I have started a little prepper pantry.

Lucy Neptune  33:02

I love it.

Evelyn Archer  33:11

 Where... when the shit with Ukraine went down, I'm like flour is gonna go sky high. And right now it all the while since we moved to Aldi five pound bag of flour has been $1.56. This past weekend, it was up to $1.72 so that gave me pause. We went to Stop & Shop for a couple of things. And this is what I noticed. store brand. all purpose white flour was more than $5 for a five pound bag. 

Lucy Neptune  34:35

Oh my god. 

Evelyn Archer  34:36

A five pound bag of King Arthur Flour was more than $8. 

Lucy Neptune  34:41

Jesus. Criminy.

Evelyn Archer  34:43

Two pounds of corn meal was $2. That's $1 a pound. It's getting up there. So every time I go to Aldi's I grab another bag of sugar. I grab another bag of flour. Every time I go to Aldi's, grab another couple of cans of tuna fish. Because we don't know what... The truth of the matter is that we don't know what's going to happen. 

Lucy Neptune  35:04

Right. 

Evelyn Archer  35:05

But I don't think it's going to be anything good. 

Lucy Neptune  35:07

Right. 

Evelyn Archer  35:08

And I think that things are gonna get very dark very quickly. I don't think they will stay dark. I think that that we will come out of it. But the way that we're going to the way that I am processing it, is by preparing. And my little Stardew Valley, my ancestors would be so proud. I've got yellow beans, I've got green beans, I've got lima beans going in winter squash, summer squash, potatoes, all in just two little beds, and then some herbs and greens as well. And that's the kind of thing that I'll be able to share with people. Like and this is the big difference, I think between leftist preppers and right wing preppers. This was something that Tiktok that said this that right wing preppers are always talking about defending their prep. Like you've got to get weapons, and you've got to get this to defend your prep. Because when when the shit goes down, people are going to come for your prep. And I'm like, don't you want to share what you have? Like, and that's the difference with the right. It's like the point is to have enough to share right for people who don't have the space or don't have the money or whatever. So yes, I'm a leftist prepper urban homesteader now. And I'm pretty sure that you know, I'm, let's see my, my prepper pantry. I'm growing so much Stardew Valley. Oh, and I encourage everybody to look into old timey analog crafts and skills that we may need.

Lucy Neptune  36:38

Yes! Learn how to tie a couple knots. 

Evelyn Archer  36:41

Yeah, and not relying on online space to tell you how to do it. Not relying on... you can 

Lucy Neptune  36:50

I say get it wherever you can. But like, practice in real life. 

Evelyn Archer  36:53

No, I'm saying what if YouTube's not available? 

Lucy Neptune  36:56

Oh, yeah, for sure. 

Evelyn Archer  36:57

That's what I mean. Like, like, try try to have something on hand in paper that you can refer to. 

Lucy Neptune  37:03

I see. 

Evelyn Archer  37:04

That's what I mean. Like, like learn it however you but don't rely on YouTube to be there.

Lucy Neptune  37:10

Got it. Yeah, yeah.

Evelyn Archer  37:13

Fermenting, canning, breadmaking sewing, mending soldering, small engine repair. These are all things that we're going to meet. And here's the other thing that I want to say. First of all, these Gen Zers. I'm loving you right now. Did you see what they had done with the credit cards?

Lucy Neptune  37:36

Hmm-mmm. (negative)

Evelyn Archer  37:37

Okay. 

Lucy Neptune  37:38

Okay, first of all, who's Gen Z? I know we are Gen X. 

Evelyn Archer  37:41

We're Gen X. Then Millennials, then Gen Z. 

Lucy Neptune  37:43

So they're like, 30?

Evelyn Archer  37:45

No, they're like in college. 

Lucy Neptune  37:46

Oh, okay. 

Evelyn Archer  37:47

Millennials are like 30, 40. 

Lucy Neptune  37:48

Okay. 

Evelyn Archer  37:49

And then younger than that as Gen Z. Got it? Okay. They're in their 20s. Some of them are still at college. 

Lucy Neptune  37:54

My nephews got it. 

Evelyn Archer  37:56

Yeah, your nephews would be Gen Z. Yeah. Some Gen Z hacker, just yesterday, released the credit card numbers, home addresses and home telephone numbers of all of those Supreme Court justices that voted to overturn Roe vs. Wade.

Lucy Neptune  38:16

I love it!

Evelyn Archer  38:18

 These agencies are brutal. Absolutely brutal.

Lucy Neptune  38:23

Come on, Gen Z.

Evelyn Archer  38:24

 However, listen to your auntie. Okay. Younger millennials and Gen Z maybe older millennials too need to hear this. Take it from an old Riot Grrl. Okay. Hush your fucking mouth online. This is very dangerous. This is something that I see. They're going online and they're like, do you want to come camping? In my state? You can stay with me. Bitch, the government is watching you. You need to take that shit offline. And I think you need to remember the term underground is an important part of underground movement. Okay, so hush your mouth. Online. Take it from your auntie and talk to people in real life. Get a Signal get a Mastodon do something like that but not on Instagram. Not on Tik ok not on regular text. Because that's all being watched. Delete your period apps now. Delete your period apps. Also. Not for nothing your Fitbit. 

Lucy Neptune  39:38

Oh Jesus. 

Evelyn Archer  39:39

Yeah. Think about that. Think about that. So I'll tell you people have been teasing me for years about my over reliance on physical media because I still have paper books and I still have DVDs. Yeah, you know what, when this fucking grid goes down y'all are all going to be up at my house watching my Kids in the Hall DVDs. Okay.

Lucy Neptune  39:59

This is going to be the new public library. 

Evelyn Archer  40:01

This will be the new public library. And so what I have kind of been rooting into has been growing things, preparing for a long siege. I started a thing just now reaching out to... I hope you got my email. 

Lucy Neptune  40:20

Oh, yes, I did see that. 

Evelyn Archer  40:21

I am going to start having full moon gatherings over at my house.

Lucy Neptune  40:28

I am very excited.  And right, and the American ethos is all about self sufficiency, pulling yourself up and all that bullshit. 

Evelyn Archer  40:29

And it's not a big deal. It's kind of a potluck bring. So I don't have to cook for fucking everybody, you know, bring something I always encourage people to make something but you know, it's not going to be much. You know, we're just going to have some snacks and listen to Florence and the Machine, and like then go howl at the moon. It's not a big deal. But I really feel strongly about especially kind of coming out of lockdown. And especially with what's going on, I feel the need to, you know, kind of create a little bit of community here. And something else that I've been hearing on my the reeducation of Evelyn Archer on Tik Tok is something that white women have a hard time with. You don't have to be friends to be community. You don't have to be friends. Because if this wasn't me, I'm going to find who said this. And I'm going to put a link to it. This was not me, this is another one thing somebody said to the top of my head off. And they're like, the thing is, when you been aligned with white supremacy for as long as we have for, you know, millennia, generations. It doesn't teach you how to make community, it teaches you how to make clubs.  That's right. And so what happens inside of a club, is if you don't play by the rules, you get kicked out of the club, I think which also speaks to lots of other things. I'm not gonna get into that right now. But we know how to make clubs. We don't know how to make community, we think we have to be friends with everybody, we think we have to agree with them all the time. And we don't, we simply don't. There. And it's something I've really learned living at the Arconia. We've got eight other people living in the apartment, and I would say we are friendly. We're not friends, but that's my community, that is part of my community. And I wouldn't any more, let any of my Arconia neighbors go hungry or get evicted or get taken away by the police, than the man on the moon. Like this is you know, I want to make sure that they've got what they need, as well. And it's I feel very strongly about gathering right now. 

Lucy Neptune  42:35

I love it. I love it. And especially while we have good weather, even though it's gonna be balls hot, you know, for another few months, like, because it's really much harder to do when it's dark and cold and wintry. 

Evelyn Archer  42:47

But if we're already in the habit of it.

Lucy Neptune  42:49

 Yes, I love it. 

Evelyn Archer  42:50

We're already in the habit of it. Yeah. When it's dark and cold and wintry it becomes even more important.

Lucy Neptune  42:56

Absolutely.

Evelyn Archer  42:57

And now that we're in the habit of it, we can just do it inside. And we can send my husband away and like you know, and come into the parlor and close our beautiful double doors and howl at the moon from in here. And and what I really kind of wanted that is to kind of hang out and be in community with people that I like, but also find out what what are your networks? What what do you need, that you're not getting? What? What do you have to trade? I'm very into this idea of like taking as much of my money out of the system as possible and doing everything in trade. I mean, Aldi's not taking trade for their flour, but you know. So these are the kinds of weird, leftist prepper revolutionary things that I'm thinking about. 

Lucy Neptune  43:44

I love it. I'm into it. 

Evelyn Archer  43:46

That's it. Yeah. fixin to go down guys. 

Lucy Neptune  43:49

Yep. 

Evelyn Archer  43:51

All right. Do we want to do listener questions? 

Lucy Neptune  43:52

Let's do Listener questions, because I'm really excited to talk about these. 

Evelyn Archer  43:55

We'll do Rachel's first. 

Lucy Neptune  43:57

Sure. 

Evelyn Archer  43:57

Okay, so from Rachel in Providence. If you had to pair up a witch and a dick for a buddy cop movie, who would you pick? I would cast Dirk Gently from Douglas Adams two-book series and Cher as Alexandria Medford in the Witches of Eastwick, because I feel they'd have nearly endless razor sharp retorts, and would hilariously drive each other up the wall. Who would you choose? First of all, Rachel, I just really need to take a moment and tell you how brilliant of a pairing this is. Dirk Gently and Alexandra Medford is a great pairing. I'd also like to go on record as saying that I think that Dirk Gently is really edging into witch territory himself he is almost a supernatural detective. But what do you have for... 

Lucy Neptune  44:39

Yeah, I was really excited to think about this. 

Evelyn Archer  44:42

Me too.

Lucy Neptune  44:43

 I ended up dividing it into four categories. 

Evelyn Archer  44:46

Oh my god, I only got three pairings. So you go first.

Lucy Neptune  44:50

 So in comedy under the comic, buddy movie... all right. 

Evelyn Archer  44:54

Okay, okay, I got you.

Lucy Neptune  44:55

 I chose well, I had two pairings under that. I have Endora from Bewitched and Sherlock Holmes. 

Evelyn Archer  45:02

Ohh. That's not a great pairing. 

Lucy Neptune  45:04

But for comedy is great because she would annoy the piss out of him. She really would.Yeah, they know each other 

Evelyn Archer  45:10

They would have to be forced to do that because getting him to work with anyone... is going to be impossible. 

Lucy Neptune  45:15

Yes. And she could show him up in ways he hasn't seen before. And just annoy the fuck out of him.

Evelyn Archer  45:19

And also Sherlock Holmes has absolutely no respect for what she's doing. 

Lucy Neptune  45:24

But he'd have to because she can do things he absolutely cannot. 

Evelyn Archer  45:27

But he would never believe she was actually doing them. And that could be part of the joke. Right? 

Lucy Neptune  45:32

Right. And then I also had a comic pairing Miss Marple and Axel Foley. 

Evelyn Archer  45:38

Axel Foley. 

Lucy Neptune  45:39

Beverly Hills Cop, Eddie Murphy. 

Evelyn Archer  45:42

I've actually

Evelyn Archer  45:43

So... Miss Marple and Axel Foley. Okay.

Lucy Neptune  45:46

Just for funniness Okay. 

Evelyn Archer  45:49

Talk more about that. Talk more about how that's funny. 

Lucy Neptune  45:51

Well, because they they have opposites in terms of age, they've opposites in terms of he's like a very like funny fast talking on his feet detective, and she's I actually... I guess I picked like two detectives there instead of a witch. Yeah, but she's kind of crone-like. Because first I have Baba Yaga and Axel Foley and like, that won't work. 

Evelyn Archer  46:11

Why not? 

Lucy Neptune  46:11

And I took well, it's she's, she would probably eat him.

Evelyn Archer  46:17

I don't think so. But not if this Baba Yaga like, ran a pawn shop. Like... 

Lucy Neptune  46:22

Oh...

Evelyn Archer  46:23

Yeah, you gotta think about it. You gotta keep going to spread it out a little bit. 

Lucy Neptune  46:26

All right, all right. All right.

Evelyn Archer  46:27

So literal. No, no, like Baba Yaga working a pawn shop in like, yeah, bad part of Detroit...

Lucy Neptune  46:33

Baba Yaga'a pawn shop. Yeah. Okay. All right. So that's, uh, 

Evelyn Archer  46:36

I would like that. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah, she would give him bad information on purpose. Just because she thought it was funny.

Lucy Neptune  46:45

Then let's see for a very sweet kids movie kids buddy movie. I pick Jessica Fletcher and Kiki.

Evelyn Archer  46:53

Oh, that's they would be very sweet together.

Lucy Neptune  46:54

They would be very sweet. Very wholesome and reassuring. 

Evelyn Archer  46:58

And Kiki does have that little old lady... pair of old lady friends. In the movie, too. Yeah. 

Lucy Neptune  47:04

Yeah.

Evelyn Archer  47:05

That's a great pairing. 

Lucy Neptune  47:06

Yeah. And then the drama category, the straight up kind of drama category. I picked Baba Yaga and Veronica Mars. Because I thought who could roll with Baba Yaga to solve a crime or to you know, get rid of a hex and I thought Veronica Mars can like she can keep up and give Baba Yaga the berth that she needs to be herself. 

Evelyn Archer  47:29

That's a good one. I have someone different for Veronica Mars. 

Lucy Neptune  47:32

I also had a different pairing under drama. 

Evelyn Archer  47:35

Let's hear it. 

Lucy Neptune  47:36

Sunny Nwazue from Akata Witch and our Armand Gamache.

Evelyn Archer  47:41

Ooh, I like that. That's a very intense movie, though. 

Lucy Neptune  47:47

Very, very. 

Evelyn Archer  47:48

That's a very intense movie with like, a lot of moral questions at their core, a lot of nuanced moral questions. 

Lucy Neptune  47:57

But they share a similar moral fiber. 

Evelyn Archer  47:59

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're both going to think about the moral ramifications of things very, very deeply. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. I like that. Yeah. 

Lucy Neptune  48:08

What do you got? 

Evelyn Archer  48:09

Yeah. All right. Mine are all very obvious. I have... very specific, very specific. Walter Mosley's Easy Rawlins and Angela Basset's Marie Laveau from American Horror Story Coven. 

Lucy Neptune  48:26

Oh, my. 

Evelyn Archer  48:27

Yeah, specifically, Angela Basset's Marie Laveau, who's been doing hair in the Ninth Ward this whole time. And Easy Rawlins, if you haven't read those Easy Rawlins books, guys, so you got to get on that they're great. Jessica Fletcher and Granny Weatherwax.

Lucy Neptune  48:43

Oh, my goodness. 

Evelyn Archer  48:43

They're just two different ways of being old. 

Lucy Neptune  48:46

Oh, my goodness. 

Evelyn Archer  48:48

Yeah. 

Lucy Neptune  48:48

Well, it's so interesting because Angela Lansbury could completely play Granny Weatherwax. 

Evelyn Archer  48:53

She could play both the roles

Lucy Neptune  48:54

 So I'm picturing her in both the roles.

Evelyn Archer  48:55

 That's my point. Oh, is that it's double. It's that's kind of casting. I think that that's a really interesting pairing, because like I said, those are two different ways of different ways of engaging with being old, except they're very, very similar. Jessica Fletcher is more interested in getting along with people. And I think that she might soften Granny a little bit. And also, I think that Granny might let Jessica be meaner, which she probably ought to be sometimes. And then my final one is Veronica Mars. And Sabrina Spellman from Chilling Adventures specifically, not Melissa Joan Hart. 

Lucy Neptune  49:40

Yeah. 

Evelyn Archer  49:41

Yeah. That's the crossover.

Lucy Neptune  49:43

Oh, that's, that's like a twin Z on, you know, the kind of younger under 30 group. 

Evelyn Archer  49:48

Exactly. That could be a very that's the crossover that nobody knew that we needed. 

Lucy Neptune  49:51

Right. Oh, shit.

Evelyn Archer  49:53

 Yes. 

Lucy Neptune  49:54

Wow. Those are good.

Evelyn Archer  49:55

Yes. Those are my three. 

Lucy Neptune  49:58

So this is a great question. I feel like we're gonna keep returning to this. 

Evelyn Archer  50:01

I think so, too.

Lucy Neptune  50:02

These like imaginitive pairings. Yeah. 

Evelyn Archer  50:04

So yeah, so mine are Walter Mosley's Easy Rawlins and  Angela Bassett's Marie Laveau from American Horror Story: Coven. Granny Weatherwax and Jessica Fletcher. And Veronica Mars and Sabrina Spellman from Chilling Adventures, not Melissa Joan Hart. Our next question is from Amy Lynn Budd in Indiana. She writes, after many years of finding little or no dead wildlife around our suburban home, my husband has been finding carcasses whenever he mows this year. So far, there have been two birds, a mouse, a chipmunk, a rabbit pelt, and today a whole young rabbit arrived in the garage. I opened the garage door, there was nothing amiss, I turned my back long enough to grab my purse and kiss my hubby goodbye, stepped out to get in the car... Dead little bunny in the middle of an open spot in the floor. Eek. The only apparent environmental change appears to be the neighbor's new cat. No lawn chemicals are used by us. The cat carries these offerings through the fence to leave in various locations. And now it's come in the garage. We have read about a number of spa treatments for gardens. But it seems the whole yard is fair game to the cat. Neighbor is committed to an outdoor lifestyle and disinterested in whether it affects others. Indeed, cats will be cats, but boy, we are moving quite a lot of bodies these days. So I have two answers to this question: one as a witch. and one as a private dick. So my answer is a private dick is to get a dog or an electrified fence. Keep an eye on the way... 

Lucy Neptune  51:37

Don't do that.

Evelyn Archer  51:38

Well, if you want, if you really want those bodies out of there, that's what you're going to have to do. Because that cat has decided.

Lucy Neptune  51:46

 I'd say a garden hose instead of an electric fence.

Evelyn Archer  51:48

Well, but are you gonna stand there with a garden hose 24 hours a day waiting for this cat to...

Lucy Neptune  51:52

You have to be on the on patrol.

Evelyn Archer  51:53

You have to be on patrol and you can't do that. It's not reasonable. You have a job and you have a life you can't do that. So an electrified fence or a large dog. Keep an eye on the ways the cat can get into the garage and seal those up. But as a witch I have a different answer. As a witch I would say these are gifts. Say thank you. Freya's chariot was pulled by a bajillion cats. She has a message for you. Freya rules over earthly things, love home family, but also magic and also war. If it were me, and you know, your mileage may vary. I might consider starting to leave some offerings for Freya in that garage or at your gate or whatever. Honey. Mead if you can find it. Flowers are always nice. Oatstraw or mugwort? If you can get any. But cats are coming on leaving... These are gifts. They're doing this because they think you're big dumb, dumb cats that can't take care of themselves. And I don't know. Maybe Freya's got a message for you. So those are my two answers for that. But yeah, keep those coming. If you have questions. Oh, and our friend. 

Lucy Neptune  53:13

We have two more. 

Evelyn Archer  53:14

Oh, we do have two more. I did not know it two more. 

Lucy Neptune  53:16

Well, your friend had messaged you was it by slack or... 

Evelyn Archer  53:21

Instant message? I don't know. What do you...

Lucy Neptune  53:23

I can't remember. She talked about...

Evelyn Archer  53:29

That's right. I did have a friend My friend Annika in California texted me about this overlap between a Witch's Familiar and detective's assistant. Now, full disclosure. I think that's such a good observation. We're probably going to do a whole episode on that. Yes, just so you know. And but I was thinking about some of our favorite assistants and familiars. So what do you have for us? 

Lucy Neptune  53:58

So my list of the list of familiars that came to mind was Salem, the cat from Sabrina. From the Harry Potter world we have Crookshanks and Hedwig. Crookshanks is Hermione's is cat and Hedwig's, of course, Harry's owl. We have is... it Bob? from Harry Dresden. 

Evelyn Archer  54:13

Yeah. It's Bob. 

Lucy Neptune  54:13

Bob. We have Jiji from Kiki's Yes, her lovely cat. And I thought is Baba Yaga's house her her assistant? Could you about it like that?

Evelyn Archer  54:23

Um... no. Baba Yaga's house is not her assistant, but she does have lots of assistants. She has crows. She has a three horses. One red horse, a black horse and a white horse. She also has those skulls on pikes in front of her house. So yeah.

Lucy Neptune  54:45

And then for the assistants I have we have Dr. Watson and the baker street irregulars. 

Evelyn Archer  54:51

Sure.

Lucy Neptune  54:51

 And you have picked from Veronica Mars. We have Wallace and Mac. 

Evelyn Archer  54:56

Oh yeah, Mac is a great one. Yeah,

Lucy Neptune  54:58

And then we have Bess and George and Ned, right?

Evelyn Archer  55:01

Absolutely, Bess. Well, Ned, I wouldn't call him an assistant more of a hindrance.

Lucy Neptune  55:05

 He's around. He can be used.

55:06

He's around. But Bess and George are very useful, yes. 

Lucy Neptune  55:10

Then you have someone like Della Street, you know,

Evelyn Archer  55:12

Oh gosh, Delta Street. Yeah.

Lucy Neptune  55:15

And then I thought of thinking with Coach... Ted Lasso terms of Coach Beard now. 

Evelyn Archer  55:20

Oh, yeah. 

Lucy Neptune  55:21

So Ted Lasso is not necessarily a detective solving crimes, but he's, he's definitely. 

Evelyn Archer  55:25

But he's definitely kind of a witch. 

Lucy Neptune  55:27

Yeah, he's he's wants to understand and kind of knit people together in this different way and kind of change the vibe of

Evelyn Archer  55:34

What are the qualities of these and I think the familiars and assistants they, they have, they often have I think special access that the witch or detective doesn't necessarily... 

Evelyn Archer  55:34

and he's used power of his will to change in this group of people. Yeah, yeah. And Coach Beard is a terrific assistant. Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. 

Lucy Neptune  55:54

They might have special skills that are not quite the specialty of the witch or detective. There's a devotion, a really beautiful devotion to the witch or detective, including telling them when they're wrong, or when they've gone off the path. I think they will, you know, be the listening ear, but they'll also be a very strong counsel and say I do not

Evelyn Archer  56:18

I think they can I think that's not as widespread as I think that does happen. But I don't remember Della Street ever speaking up? And I wouldn't know if Bob is Bob really an assistant?

Lucy Neptune  56:33

Is he more I mean, he's more of a trapped spirit.

Evelyn Archer  56:36

He's really more of a fucking monkey on his back is what he is. He's a hindrance is what Bob is. He can be useful, right? But only if he wants to like he is yeah,

Lucy Neptune  56:48

you got to work with him.

Evelyn Archer  56:49

You really have to work with him and negotiate and like he wants to be let out of the skull all the time. And like chase girls and like Harry's like please you drive me bananas. Please stop it. And what do you think is interesting about familiars is that familiars and the big difference for me? Like assistants they do sometimes have access. They do sometimes have skills. But what they often are in some stories, is the evidence that you are a witch in the first place. The fact that you I'm thinking of Bell Book and candle with Kim Novak and Jack Lemmon. This is actually very, very loosely based on a play, I think it was called I Married a Witch which eventually became Bewitched. And her cat Piewacket, when she renounces witchcraft, runs away. Having familiars is how, you know, in the olden times, if they thought that you were a witch, they were like, Oh, this animal follows you around. That means you're a witch, we're going to persecute you as a witch. So I think in addition to these same things, they are evidence that you are a legitimate witch, the way that having a secretary kind of makes you legitimate PI. 

Lucy Neptune  58:08

Right. 

Evelyn Archer  58:09

You know, like, are you really a PI?

Lucy Neptune  58:11

 Right. Yeah, it seems more professional, more reliable.

Evelyn Archer  58:13

 More professional, more reliable. But yeah, exactly. So I think that is a really great. Yeah, that's a really great one. And I don't have anything else to add. Yeah,

Lucy Neptune  58:22

no, I was just thinking about like, the devotion level, there's, there's an intimacy between them, because of how closely they work and how much they're really on the same team. And, you know, readers viewers often speculate about romance, sometimes between at least on the detective side, you know, Watson and Holmes. Yeah, you know, and if the one gets a romantic partner, it can be very threatening to the other kind of thing. So. So it's so it's interesting.

Evelyn Archer  58:54

But yeah, I definitely think this deserves its own episode. Yeah,

Lucy Neptune  58:58

for sure. Yeah. I'll have to think more about it. Yeah. We'll have to think more about it together, but it's really fun to think about. Yeah, and then our last question came from our friend Roxanne. No.

Evelyn Archer  59:11

Roxanne? Who's Roxanne?

Lucy Neptune  59:12

I don't know why. 

Evelyn Archer  59:13

Do you mean Amanda?

Lucy Neptune  59:14

Oh, yes. Because of the O-X my, my brain to the flow level. Gotcha. Okay, flip that.

Evelyn Archer  59:19

I see. I see how you did that. And what's Amanda's question? Well,

Lucy Neptune  59:24

Except I've completely forgotten how to work Instagram. Thank you. Here we go. 

Evelyn Archer  59:28

What's going on there? You okay, there?

Lucy Neptune  59:30

No, I'm not. Alright, my question for the mailbag episode, has Lucy begun making actual meals. I am worried about Evelyn's well being for even having to explain the nature of the frozen meals. Yeah, this is a fine question. 

Evelyn Archer  59:45

It's a fine question. It's a very good question, Amanda.

Lucy Neptune  59:48

It touches on some deep issues. 

Evelyn Archer  59:49

It's true.

Lucy Neptune  59:50

 And the answer is yes. And not 100% yet, but I'm trying to remember when I started making my  tomato bean thing that I was so proud of. I am still deeply proud. 

Evelyn Archer  1:00:05

You should be very proud. 

Lucy Neptune  1:00:06

And it's just basically a saute pan with oil, garlic, beans, tomato paste, cheese. Cook it up.

Evelyn Archer  1:00:17

There's not even real tomatoes in that guy. It's literally watered down tomato paste. 

Lucy Neptune  1:00:21

Doesn't matter. Stick it in the oven. I am cooking with ingredients on a hot stove top and then you throw it in the oven for 10 minutes and it's enough for at least three meals. Delicious, nutritious, affordable. Couldn't be prouder. Couldn't be prouder.

Evelyn Archer  1:00:33

You should be very proud. 

Lucy Neptune  1:00:35

And I don't think I started doing that when we were first recording. So I think I have started,..

Evelyn Archer  1:00:39

No, you were not. You were definitely not doing that when we were first recording.

Lucy Neptune  1:00:44

And I will make burritos. Oh, I am growing lettuce on my back porch. 

Evelyn Archer  1:00:49

Oh, fantastic. 

Lucy Neptune  1:00:50

I just because I don't eat it that often. I still have lettuce plants in my little container bins. And so I'll go up there. Well, a couple are kind of like me, but I can still grab some leaves off them. harvest them

Evelyn Archer  1:01:02

Harvest them completely before it gets too hot or they'll bolt and you can't use them.

Lucy Neptune  1:01:06

 Okay. Good to know. So here's Yes. 

Evelyn Archer  1:01:09

Here's a tip for your burrito situation. 

Lucy Neptune  1:01:11

Yes. 

Evelyn Archer  1:01:12

It does not take any more time to make six burritos than it does to make two. 

Lucy Neptune  1:01:16

That is such a good point.

Evelyn Archer  1:01:18

If you make six burritos, you can take four of them and put them in the fucking freezer.

Lucy Neptune  1:01:24

I'm thinking of our friend Amanda now listening to you going oh god, Evelyn still has to explain the basics. 

Evelyn Archer  1:01:30

Yep.

Lucy Neptune  1:01:31

Yes. True. 

Evelyn Archer  1:01:32

It's true. Everybody's on their own journey, man. 

Lucy Neptune  1:01:35

Status report is: Lucy's working on it. 

Evelyn Archer  1:01:37

We're getting there. We're getting there.

Lucy Neptune  1:01:39

A couple steps forward. 

Evelyn Archer  1:01:39

And I'm telling you, man, you better figure out how to make your own food before this fucking revolution comes

Lucy Neptune  1:01:44

I can fix all the bicycles. And you will.... 

Evelyn Archer  1:01:46

This is the thing, too about like trade like you can do the small engine repair. 

Lucy Neptune  1:01:52

I'm not quite up to engine but I do want to learn how to make the bicycle generator situation. Well, I'll need that for a little we were small appliances. Ooh. That's a good idea.

Evelyn Archer  1:02:01

We will need that. So we'll just make a trade. It's fine. Like when we have to go to the you know, collective. I'll just be in charge. It's fine. Like, it's fine, but I do worry. I you know it. I do worry.

Lucy Neptune  1:02:18

Necessity is the mother of figuring your shit out. Yeah.

Evelyn Archer  1:02:21

And I would say that, you know, knowing how to make a thing is more things than you knew how to do were like literally this woman was like a microwaving like a Quorn patty... Do you know what a Quorn patty is? It's like this vegan... 

Lucy Neptune  1:02:38

Mushroom protein.

Evelyn Archer  1:02:39

 Mushroom protein.

Lucy Neptune  1:02:40

They're delicious.

Evelyn Archer  1:02:41

Yes, but you would like to microwave like one Quorn patty and like... it just sounds like so sad to me. Like, it sounds so sad. Like, I'm like, don't you understand how delicious food can be? Yes, it really can be delicious. In fact, you have beautiful delicious strawberry lemon bars to take home with you for your birthday treat. 

Lucy Neptune  1:03:00

That my friend Evelyn made.They're gorgeous you guys. 

Evelyn Archer  1:03:03

They're so delicious. My lemon bars could win a prize. I believe my lemon bars and my macaroni and cheese could absolutely win a prize. 100%. But yeah, I would say you are 100% better than you were when we first started recording.

Lucy Neptune  1:03:17

Yeah, definitely improvement. All right. All right, friends. Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. 

Evelyn Archer  1:03:23

Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. Hush your mouth on the internet. And let us know if you need anything.

Lucy Neptune  1:03:31

Yeah, we're all fighting together.

Evelyn Archer  1:03:33

We're all fighting together. All right. Bye, folks. Bye.